Torn

Sometimes, I really do wonder why I keep holding on.

Every time I tell myself you’ve changed, and things will work out this time, you prove me wrong. I do question, if I’m simply afraid of letting go, terrified of what that would mean.

I’m tired.

So tired of feeling low when I’m around you when in fact, that’s far from the way things are suppose to be.

Your harsh words tear at me relentlessly. Your growing ignorance leaves me pleading for your attention. And every single time, I fight back the tears that threaten to reveal all the hurt and pain building up inside.

I lost all hope yesterday. Or so I thought. I cried myself to sleep again. Probably for the hundredth time I’ve done so because of you.

Maybe, I expect too much due to the title I’ve bestowed upon you.

But when I saw you today, I realised I wasn’t going to let go. Not just yet at least. For some god forsaken reason..

I still have faith in you.